ROMANCE MATHEMATICS:
*Smart man + smart woman = romance
*Smart man + dumb woman = affair
*Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
*Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC:
*Smart boss + smart employee = profit
*Smart boss + dumb employee = production
*Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
*
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH:
*A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
*A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS:
*A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
*A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
*A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
*A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS:
*To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
*To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
*Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
MEMORY:
*Any married man should forget his mistakes,
there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
*A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
*A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. (Totally the opposite with me....lemme check my gender again!)
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE:
*A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
*Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling,
telling me, "You're next".
*They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals
*Smart man + smart woman = romance
*Smart man + dumb woman = affair
*Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
*Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC:
*Smart boss + smart employee = profit
*Smart boss + dumb employee = production
*Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
*
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH:
*A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
*A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS:
*A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
*A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
*A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
*A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS:
*To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
*To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
*Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
MEMORY:
*Any married man should forget his mistakes,
there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
*A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
*A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. (Totally the opposite with me....lemme check my gender again!)
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE:
*A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
*Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling,
telling me, "You're next".
*They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals
